I met the multi-talented Aishwaryaa R Dhanush on the eve of her book launch at Crossword. In a quick tete-a-tete, Aishwaryaa opened up about the book, her family and her plans for the coming year!
Your book has had a pan India launch, how are you feeling?
Honestly, when I started off it was extremely exciting, but after 20 interviews and photo shoots it gets pretty tiring. However, this is only because I am saying the same thing over and over again, and as lovely it is, it can be tiring. In fact, I was just telling someone that I now have a newfound respect for the actresses, I don't know how they do the make-up, the hair and the outfits’ day-in-and-day-out, it is a huge task!
How are you feeling that your book has garnered a positive feedback on social media? The response has been overwhelming! I am very happy that people are accepting and enjoying my book. I am very excited to be sharing all these experiences with the people who have a great regard for my family. This great response and excitement for the book are one of the major reasons that we are having a pan India launch for the book. It was amazingly great to have Shweta (Bachchan Nanda) and Barkhaji (Dutt) come for the launch in Delhi, and Karan (Johar) and Sonakshi (Sinha) are for the launch in Mumbai. This kind of encouragement and motivation from all corners makes me so happy. In fact, I have come across tweets where people have said, "This is the first book that I am going to read because it is written by you!" It is beautiful to know the kind of unconditional love that they have!
Does this 'unconditional love' ever burden you?Not really! This is the love that I have grown up with it. And in the context of this book, I have always maintained that this is not a biography, it is a memoir of sorts. It is more like pages out of my diary, it does not even have any chronological order! It is just my experiences, the memories that are etched in my mind, and those that I carry with me. These are the memories that people should know. There are myths and misconceptions that people generally have about celebrity kids. It is stuff like that they are abnormal, they do things differently, and they get it all... I say it in my dedication, this book is for all the star kids who go through this kind of difficulties, the experiences, the challenges, and also the pleasures that I have gone through.
Right from the beginning I have said that this book is not about my father. He is obviously a big part of this book because he is my father. Also, I can't keep him aside and write away from him. So yes, there never was 'big responsibility' so to say on my shoulders, because I was always pretty clear about what am I writing, and I was even more clear that same fact should reach people who will pick up the book.
In retrospect, now that you are raising your kids, who are also star kids, do the limitations that were imposed on you make more sense to you now? Of course! A lot of things that I was angry about, a lot of things that I was disappointed about make sense! I now know the value of why my mum did certain things the way she did, even though I did not like it. I feel that bringing up children is a bigger challenge today, and my mum had it a little easier than what I am having today. Thanks to all the social media, the exposure, the internet, and how fast life is moving. I think the pace today is crazy, and it is more challenging for mothers today, be it celebrity or not, to draw this balance between what to give them and what not to give them, how much to give them, how much to keep away... It is a huge challenge to bring up kids! If I can bring them up a little normal, then I will consider it to be a great achievement.
You are dabbling in so many things - you are a singer, a director, and now a published author, at the same time you have personal commitments to fulfil, your kids to take care of. How do you make time for yourself? I always believe that any woman, be it me or anyone, in any field for that matter, she needs family support. A woman needs that kind of encouragement, and someone at home saying “You go, I will take care of it!” I have been extremely blessed with regards to mum and my husband when it came to the kind of support that they gave me when I had to leave the town. If I have to go out for promotions, go out on shoots, especially during the night shoots, I need that kind of support when I am not at home.
I also have to give it to my kids, they are extremely understanding. If they were crying at home and saying that we need you back, I would drop everything and go to them, because you just can't function otherwise. And today thanks to FaceTime you are never away, you are there. I think it's been very nice and God has been extremely kind to me. For every woman, I believe this kind of support system at home is very important.
How normal is your children's childhood? They are growing up in the lap of stardom, so is it difficult to keep things normal around them? With the advent of technology and the internet, it is extremely difficult! The most difficult part is that when my kids want to go out, and they can't go out with us! I usually have to send them out with friends or relatives, because I want them to see that normal life. I would want them to go to the beach, the temple. I miss taking them myself, so I compensate by taking them abroad instead.
Did you go through the same? Yes, in fact, it was more difficult because my dad did not have that much time. He was shooting for 7 films a year and that is pretty much every day. So yes we missed out, but we are catching up on missed time. I travel with him, I spend a lot of time with him, we live three streets away, so yes, we are catching up!
Have your family members read the book? Yes, they have. My father loves it! For him it is more of a reminiscent and a nostalgic experience, he is reliving all of these moments. There are many instances where he said that he did not know that I felt like this, or thought about them in a certain manner. He really enjoyed it. I think he at some point always knew that I like to write as a kid. So he wasn't very surprised when a book came out of me.
But for my husband, it was a huge surprise! He was like “Okay, you can actually write so many pages. Tell me did you get someone else to write it for you?!” He was really surprised, but it was a pleasant surprise for him too.
At home, it has been a very special and happy moment because each one of them is able to relate to their chapters. It is very nice that each one feels that they are a part of the book.
Has anyone from the industry read the book? Yes, in fact, the first person I shared this book with was Twinkle because I really like the way she writes. I think humour comes so naturally to her, and it is such intelligent humour, it is just not to make you laugh! I am a huge fan! So, I gave first ten chapters to her and said please be honest because if it is not nice then I will scrap the whole idea. And knowing Twinkle she cannot be anything but honest! However, she got back with very encouraging stuff to say, and she was the first one to read the book.
I couldn't think of anyone more relevant than Shweta (Bachchan Nanda) to write the foreword. I shared it with her and she was more than willing. She said that she found the book very relatable! So yes, these are the two people that I shared the book in the industry with.
How are you as a writer? Do you prefer solitude and type away, or do you take each day as it comes? I don't type, to begin with. I love the feeling of writing it out on paper. I love writing with a pencil, I hate using pens for writing. I am very old-school that way! And I think it is the only way that things come beautifully out of me.
I was very particular when I told my editor, Karthika (Harper Collins) that I don't want a lot of back and forth, I don't want fancy language, I don't want any increase in descriptions because I want it to be real. We have largely stuck to the first draft as it is, and it was nice of them to have agreed to do that. We have not added stuff or exaggerated stuff, we have largely kept it as is.
How did you cull down to what you wanted to retain in the final draft? I wanted to keep a balance between the roles that I have played in my life. I wanted to give each role its own importance and significance. I wanted the book to very wholesome. I wanted that whoever reads the book, they might be a friend, a daughter, a mother, they should be able to relate to the book. I wanted to touch on everything, and yet not everything. I did not want it to be like ‘too many cooks spoil the broth’ situation. I wanted to keep it as easy and simple as possible and touch only on the most important parts.
Since the book touches on so many phases of your life, which phase was the most difficult one to write? Honestly, no part was difficult, as all of it came from memory. These incidents were the ones that happened! I did not have to cook up anything or create anything, so it was relatively easy. But the difficult part was the publication gave me a deadline!
Where did you draw the line that this is something that I want to tell, and this is something that I rather not? I was very careful with what I wanted to say, what I thought I should say, and what I thought was enough to say. I was clear because I am talking about personal life and personal experiences. Also, being in the industry, and being the daughter of a father who is so huge and so loved, there is only so much that is personal. I had to draw the line, but I know there are people who wish well for him and regard him as one in their family, for them it is fine to know.
Even though this is a memoir kind of book, like Twinkle has dabbled in fiction, do you think you will ever dabble in fiction? This is a very interesting concept, but I don't know. As of now I am enjoying the moment and not thinking about the next book. But also because I am writing the script for my next film, I cannot do both together. I want to finish that first, and then maybe... You never know what the future holds.
Now that you have written both - a book and script, what do you think is more difficult? I think the book was easier. Also considering the kind of book this was, it was definitely easier. If this was fiction, it would have definitely been more challenging, because then I would have to make up stuff, tap on my creativity and go back and forth. I would have to write a little more of that paragraph, a little more of that character, nothing would have been enough. Since this was not like that, the first experience has been pretty easy.
What does the future hold for you? I will be finishing the script for my next. I hope that it goes on the floor by March or April next year. After that, I will be travelling for my UN Women advocacy. So I have a lot planned for 2017! 2016 has been great, very eventful, very fulfilling, a lot of things happened in their own way, so yes, there is lots to look forward to!
