When you first start dating someone, everything seems to be go perfectly. The love is brand new, the fire is bright. You’ve got nothing to fight. But as you walk towards building a real, honest to goodness relationship, things may not often go right. But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth the fight. Building a long-lasting relationship involves making deeper roots with your partner. Therapists say being completely honest about one’s true self is just the beginning. Your relationship should be based on integrity. Ahead are some things couples therapists have to say about building a love that lasts.

As clichéd as it sounds, it has to be said too. Healthy, long lasting relationships are all about team work. So even though it may feel tempting to go against each other to prove a point, in the middle of a point, don’t give into it. Remember, the two of you are a team. The ultimate decision you come to should be beneficial to both of you, together. Additionally, also try solving all problems together. This will strengthen your bond as a couple.

A lay man would think that most of the arguments they have with their partners is because of communication. A therapist will tell you, it is because of miscommunication. Miscommunications happen because you didn’t communicate with your partner effectively, or didn’t communicate with them enough. Talking candidly about frustrations is the beginning. Let no topic be off limits. Be open about anger, disappointment, sex, appreciation and happiness with each other.

Many people try to fill in gaps by doing things their partner wouldn’t, all by themselves. For example, your partner may not enjoy cooking. So you decide to do it all by yourself. While this will of course keep the both of you fed, on time, chances are you may be feeling overwhelmed. In case you do, it’s a good idea to express this to your partner. Be direct about this conversation, instead of being passive aggressive and whining.

This is for people who’ve been with their partners for a while. Remember how curious were you to know everything about them on your first few dates?Yes, that.Even though you may now know their middle names or name of their childhood pets, doesn’t mean you truly know them. Continue to know, by being curious about them. Ask them questions that won’t have single word answers. Ask them about their dreams, their anxieties and their challenges.